pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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