I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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