Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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