we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
