did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
