You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
