if you like me you must not know who I am
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
