Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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