I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize