if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
