you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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