I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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