I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
