guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
