I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
