I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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