Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize