He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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