im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
