In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
