How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
