I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
