And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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