And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
