butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
