i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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