I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I have feelings that need drinking.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
