There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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