I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
