Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
