It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
