I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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