thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
