ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
how drunk are you?
Several
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
