So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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