Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
