can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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