we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
