I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
