First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
