every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
