Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
