She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
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Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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