good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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