there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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