She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
