But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
