i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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