i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
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They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
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No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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