have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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