Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize