It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
