Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
