Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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