john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
