it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
