WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
