You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
ttyl tear gas
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
