you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
