nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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