Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
