he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize