Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
