I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The air was thick with penises
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
